Oct 23 2008
Meltdown Central
One thing that Asperger parents have to deal with is recognizing the situations or circumstances that cause their child to have a melt-down. When I recall my son’s first melt-down he was only two years old … it seems so long ago. There have been so many since they tend to blur together.
His famous first melt-down relates to his intense NEED for routine in his life. We were attempting a family camping trip. I mean, what kid doesn’t want to sleep in a tent with his parents and siblings…? Well, my little one didn’t. So he cried all night, and then screamed a little … and cried some more. We even tried climbing in the car with him so he wouldn’t wake the other children and our neighbors. Boy was this a big mistake. The car that I owned at that time had been purchased with an after market alarm system and key-less entry system. It decided to have some issues and the horn started sounding with the alarm sounds, and yes, it was the middle of the night in a crowded camping ground. My husband was able to disarm the alarm and disconnect the horn … and this was the last time we tried camping.
The next morning I was showering, and having had NO sleep, I was not in the best of moods. I overheard two women talking, “Did you hear that bratty child screaming all night long?” It was all I could do to not go running from the shower and tell them that if they thought they could do any better, they were welcome to it!
Our son’t melt-downs have tended to grow progressively as he ages and have been startling at times. Once he even punched me as we were driving down the highway since I wouldn’t do as he asked me to. I’ve learned that our boy reacts to the emotions around him and he gets confused at how to read and react to those = which triggers his melt-down.
We took a recent weekend trip out of town, I’ll hence forth refer to it as “Victoria melt trip”. Victoria Melt trip began before we ever boarded the ferry to Vancouver island. My husband was upset over a discussion he’d had with his adult daughter and my son was reacting to his confusion over dad’s emotions, then my daughter got in the mix and was having some anxieties over his brothers melt-down. It finally came to a head when we stopped for ice cream. My husband and daughter ordered ice cream cones, but our son didn’t want one we wanted something else, but was afraid dad didn’t want him to. Long story short, I ordered something else and convinced our boy it was alright. But our son dropped his on the floor … and had a total melt… My husband began losing his temper and our son’s melt-down began spiraling our of control.
In the end, I had to remind my husband that our son was reacting to his mood and that he just had to get over it! We all calmed and got in our car, boarded the ferry, and decided we were going to have a fun weekend!
So how about your, any stories to share about melt-downs where people looked at you like your child was a mis-behaved brat?
Thanks for reading, I look forward to your comments.
5 Responses to “Meltdown Central”
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Thanks Tracy,
There are days when I am frustrated and days when I feel sorry for them and somehow responsible, but it is the life they were dealt and I have to help them find their way in the world.
I consider it my privilege
I’m fortunate to have a good support system for myself and have learned to develop a thick skin (it has helped with writing too for accepting critiques).
You seem like such a strong person. I know it must take a lot of energy and patience and love to raise a child with Asperger’s.
While I don’t have children, I am disabled, and I find it amazing how some people can be so ignorant, such as those women who were talking about your son while you were showering. It frustrates me that people don’t try to be understanding of other’s situations.
Sierra
http://anxiety.today.com
http://purrfectpets.today.com
The good thing is that they do get old enough to understand and you can help them identify their meltdown indicators. My son is 8 years old now and he does still have the occasional meltdown, but usually we manage to off-set them before they get too bad by talking to him, switching the tone, and helping him get to where he needs to be to come out of whatever frame of mind is creating the problem.
School seems to be a big stress factor for him. If things start getting “hot” then I get him to go to a quiet area and do something on his own for a while, and then discuss later what the problem really is.
Thanks for the comments! I admire both of you for handling life as you do.
It is frustrating when people make snap judgements without understanding others. That is one thing that my children are leaning, to be more conscious of others and their needs. My husband and I are raising them to be non-judgemental!
Katieanne - I hear you, school is a big issue for my two as well. I have learned that it is important for me to watch my tone as well. If I get upset or angry when speaking to my son, he doesn’t react well and it escalates any situation. It is also wonderful when they get to the age where they can talk and have a better understanding.
I have often sent my son to sit on his bed quietly and we talk about situations at a later time.
Thanks for stopping by