Oct 24 2008
Have you ever wanted to give away your child?
As all of you with children in the Autism Spectrum Disorders know it can be very difficult to parent. I was reading through an Autism Support Website and came upon a post where a mother was ready to give up her 12 year old. I think we have all understood this desperation.
It is a hard job raising children that have disorders I have felt this way a few times and then felt mad that I felt this, but we can get through it. I know I have told my friends that I am not one of these people, but I do understand why some people beat their children. It is that shear desperation that you feel when your child is pushing your limits. It has taken a lot of work to get my children to a fairly good point. Alot of times just having someone to talk to helps.
It is REALLY important to have a good support system. I am now re-married and have a wonderfully supportive husband who, though not my childrens father, is the only Dad they have ever known. He has allowed me to get away occasionally for a break. When I was a single parent, I NEVER had that luxury.
I gave myself the most amazing gift ever - a trip all ALONE (no kids, no husband) to Italy. I took the picture of the Colosseum in Rome that is seen at the top of this blog. Therefore, Italy is where my thoughts drift to when I feel like I need to be away from my children.
Every one of us has gotten to a point that we dont think we can do it anymore because we are all human. Believe me things do get a little better if you stay on top of everything. There are times when I’ve thought I couldn’t, but I have learned that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. He gave us these children cause he knew we could handle it and they would be safe with us. My two would probably not still be alive if they were left to grow up with their biological father.
Do you have any moments when you have felt this desperation…?
- Here are some Pages you mite want to Have look at on our website
- Why we have Japanese cars in USA?
- I really have no idea what I am doing
- If you have dream go for it !!!
- “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11)
5 Responses to “Have you ever wanted to give away your child?”
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YES! Not to where I’d give up my son with Aspergers, I fought too hard for his life from first timester pregnancy until about 3 months after he was born and things started to settle, but desperation of knowing what to do for the best. Knowing that doing one thing was the right “parenting choice”, and the other was the right “asperger choice” is soul destroying at times. You just can’t say for sure what’s Aspies and what’s boundary testing and you walk a line down the middle hoping to get it right. It’s frustrating, it’s exhausting, and sometimes I feel desperately that I’m doing all I can and it’s not enough.
You are absolutely right Katieanne! It is frustrating and exhausting. My biggest obstacle has been figuring out what are Aspie issues and when he is just pushing the boundaries! There have been so many times when I just hoped I was doing the right thing.
Before we had our Asperger diagnosis, our son would say he was going to run away to a family that could love him. When I tried to explain that we loved him more than life itself it didn’t help it just confused him. He would pull his hair out and scream. I had this fear that he would head out the door and be picked up by the police while he was walking down the middle of the road, pulling his hair out and screaming.
He would say over and over how horrible and unfair we were. We have really learned to have a thick skin.
Just the other day he told me he didn’t like my short, spiked hair. He thought I needed to let it grow so that I could be a real mom. I laughed and asked when he was going to be a real boy.
It is a daily struggle, but I wouldn’t change it for the world!
My son doesn’t fit neatly into the autism spectrum, but definitely shares many characteristics. I’ve never *quite* wanted to get rid of him, but I do remember many very frustrating episodes, particularly since he used to undress in the middle of the night and finger paint with, well, feces.
Fortunately, he’s over that particular trait, but it’s challenging and a struggle to communicate with him.
I think any parent knows moments, though, of frustration and even desperation. It’s wrong to feel too guilty unless we act inappropriately to them. Parents, after all, are only human.
By the way, I linked this blog to my own at rocketscientist.today.com
Hi Stephanie,
That is funny that you should mention that - my son actually painted his bedroom walls with his feces as well. He was about a year and a half I believe.
I’ve never “quite” wanted to get rid of my children either, but I have certainly understood those feelings.
I’ve also thought there was really something to becoming agorophobic too - and never leaving my bedroom again!
Thanks for the link … I’ll check your blog out too.
Hi,
May be this information could be of any use to you; my son’s behaviour drastically improved once he was on a wheat/sugar+/dairy free diet. And getting fish oils, Omega 369. The change has been dramatic; it is tough for him, but he is so motivated, as his life has improved 100 % with the diet.
It is worth looking into; leaky gut syndrome has been found to be one of the many factors contributing to Autism.
Good luck to everyone!!
Mimi