Oct 26 2008
Ever have one of those days when…?
For some strange reason I thought it might be fun to go to Disney Land for Christmas. My Aspie son does NOT like to be around large crowds of people though. Once I took the kids up to Seattle for a day at Pike Place Market. We got out of the car on the upper level and my son saw hundreds of people milling about through the isles and he wanted nothing to do with it. My daughter really wanted to shop and enjoy herself so I tried to encourage him to give it a try. Then comes his famous one-liner: “I am going to wait in the car.”
I informed him, as usual, that waiting in the car alone was not safe and NOT an option. He began fussing and I could see it was heading to an ugly place…
Thinking quickly, I pulled him along through the crowd and we headed to the lower level. As luck would have it, there weren’t many people on the lower level. I knew of a store that sold Native American items and jewelry and hoped that this might help calm him. Still pulling him, well almost dragging him, along we made it to the store before the full fledge meltdown kicked in.
We entered the store and they were playing soft flute music and there were only two other people inside. We located a basket of Spirit Stones that seemed to intrigue him. I read to him about the stones and how animal spirits play an important role in traditional American Indian culture: land animals are protectors, sky creatures embodies spirituality and wisdom and water creatures are the healers.
My son was quite taken with these stones and loved reading that the bearer of the stones used the qualities of the spirit to create balance in their own lives. He wanted to buy some stones and thought maybe they could help him be more brave.
He selected the bear for protection, the moose for survival, and the spider for creativity. He also found a Tiger Eye stone that was a confidence stone.
I was quite impressed with his selections and bought them for him. Those stones have come in handy many times. I have reminded him that he can carry his stones in his pocket to help him feel more protected or have more confidence.
He has had many more episodes of irrational fears creeping in and preventing him from participating in activities. He almost didn’t make it to his best friends birthday party because he was afraid there would be too many people there and he wouldn’t like it. His sister reminded him of his stones and he was finally able to go to the party.
I spent a few hours this morning with my best friend and she said it quite profoundly: “I can’t imagine living in his body and not understanding the world as I do.” I’m am constantly in awe of how brave he is … it can’t be easy.
I’m always amazed and proud when he is able to overcome his fears and be brave enough to go to birthday parties or school functions. Who’d have thought that a few little stones could make the difference?
My husband, the voice of reason, helped me realize that Disney might not be the best family trip. We would spend the almost $100/person getting into the park and he might feel overwhelmed by the crowds and we might have to leave…
Maybe some day we’ll go to Disney 
but if not, that’s okay too.
How about you … every have one of those days when your Aspie child has not felt like being a part of the world around him/her?
3 Responses to “Ever have one of those days when…?”
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My son is not thrown by crowds, but he doesn’t like to sit in the movie theater. My baby daughter can sit through a movie that my son will not stand for. Even his favorite movies, that, when we own them, he’ll watch enraptured, at home are losers at the theaters. He loves movies while we’re traveling in the car, too, and will watch for hours without complaint.
On the whole, it’s a small thing, but it has been frustrating for my husband and myself since we are huge movie-type people, loving the same sort of movies he does. We just can’t watch them in the theater with him.
My son also loves earth items: he has some wooden runes he loves and he loves dirt and rocks. I wonder what the connection is.
Clearly, you love your son very much.
My son with Aspergers also loves gem stones. He sleeps with a dream catcher over his bed, and a totem bear necklace that I bought from a Native American stall in Arizona on the wall above his pillow. Our Aspie kids are special and I have a sense they have a deeper spiritual base than most kids are aware of, and they connect this to nature. I love to see Jake’s face as he rolls a piece of rose quartz or other stone in his hand. The familiar tension is momentarily gone and he’s at peace.
It is truly amazing that Aspie kids do have a deeper understading. I think they probably understand life on a much deeper level than we do and are frustrated when they can’t share it with us.
Thanks Stephanie and Katieanne